What We Can Learn From Serena Williams
I have to say I was completely appalled by Serena Williams’ actions during the U.S. Open Tennis tournament this weekend. If you’re not a tennis fan, let me fill you in on what happened. During the last game of the semi-final match between Serena Williams and Kim Clijsters, Williams was called for a foot-fault which lost her the point. After which, she went on a tirade toward the lines-woman who made the call, threatening her and swearing. For her actions, Williams was penalized another point which cost her the game and the match. It was a sad ending to an otherwise great match. Even though Williams thought it was a bad call, I carefully reviewed the video evidence and I can confirm that it was indeed a foot-fault. I was a semi-pro tennis player in my youth and have spent 1000’s of hours on a tennis court, so I know something of what I speak. However, even if the call had been in error, Williams’ actions were totally out of line.
So, what can we, as speakers, learn from Williams’ actions? Plenty. It wasn’t what Williams did on the court that can teach us something, it’s what she did after. During a post game interview, Williams did not apologize to the lines-women and showed no remorse for her actions. Furthermore, she aligned herself with John McEnroe by saying he was one of her heros. John McEnroe was one of the most misbehaved tennis players of all time. His tirades are legendary. Then to add dung to the already mounting pile, the next day Williams released an official press statement blaming the lines-woman for the bad call, does not apologize and shows no remorse again. All I can say is WOW! Hard to believe. Who is her public relations coach? Does she have one? If not, she needs one or needs to fire the one she has.
Have we learned nothing from ex-president Bill Clinton? “I did not have sex with that women!” Remember that line? He got caught with his hands in the cookie jar, or the blue dress as the case may be, and still lied bold face to the American people. If he had just admitted what he had done and begged for our forgiveness, everything would have blown over is a couple of weeks. Instead this will haunt his presidency forever. Big mistake. Same mistake Williams is making now. People don’t mind you making a mistake, but they do mind you not taking responsibility for your actions.
As speakers we sometimes make mistakes either on stage or in our lives. One of my motivational speaking friends was a cocain addict in her youth. She doesn’t try to hide this information and will talk to anyone openly about it. John Grey of “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” fame is divorced. He doesn’t try to hide it, in fact he talks about it on stage. When Tim Allen first stated his popular TV show, “Home Improvement” it came out that he had done time in prison for selling drugs. He quickly and completely admitted it and all was forgiven quickly.
This is a lesson we should all learn. I have seen speakers mess up on stage, get called on their mistake from the audience, and then try and defend their actions. Don’t do this. In one case I can remember, the speaker had bad statistics and an audience member called him on it. Instead of saying “You could be right. Thank you for bringing that to my attention. I will make sure to double check my facts as soon as I return home,” he had an argument with the audience member. This led to an uncomfortable audience and the destruction of an otherwise good speech. You can bet he didn’t get asked back to speak there.
Just last week I was giving a talk and about five minutes into the speech I realized that I didn’t pass out my handouts. It’s hard to have people write stuff down in their handouts when they don’t have them. I knew right away that this would be a disruption to the flow of my speech. So, I freely and openly admitted my mistake with the line, “and proving that even the best of speakers can screw up … I just did. I forgot to pass out my hand outs.” The audience laughed and I handed the stacks of papers to people in the front row to pass back. Returning to the stage with a grin and lightly rapping myself in the head, all was forgiven. The flow of my speech continue without a hitch.
If you made a mistake, admit it, talk about it openly, ask for forgiveness or apologize and move on. People will love that fact that you are real and open.
Tags: Cliff Suttle, Professional Speaker, Public Speaking, Serena Williams